One weekend at our funeral home, I worked a service that drew a mere 3 attendees. Plentiful amounts of food were catered. And only 3 people showed up. All those folks were her family members.
The next day, our home was filled to the extent it was a fire hazard. Dozens of communities were represented from the Houston Rodeo Committee, to the Cypress Running Club, to high school and college coaches. An hour before the service, those who couldn’t find parking resorted to watching the service online. Extra chairs were pulled out from storage to seat our lobbies.
I view death differently now. I also view community differently.
I have felt guilty that I let my physical and emotional health over the years keep me from my community. Naturally, I felt I always needed copious amounts of alone time to recharge. But what does recharging in community look and feel like? Can I find rest through my community?
I remember who showed up to my Lolo’s funeral. Elders in the barangay saw my Lolo, Manong Tiago, because they could not afford general healthcare. They relied on my Lolo’s plants and his hands to cure any physical or spiritual ailments they had.
I remember what it felt like to give readings to Filipina women for the first time in 2020. I felt everyone’s gifts, everyone’s pain, joy, struggle, darkness and light. I felt closer to myself than I had ever felt.
But I also felt unworthy. Did I deserve to carry everyone’s vulnerability? Did I deserve to have this community?
To give extra care to my community, I wanted to do this responsibly and find mentors for my own healing journey, become licensed as a Clinical Social Worker, recover from burnout, and learn how to take care of myself in ways I never learned how.
I am continually learning to understand grace, what it means, how to practice it for myself and how to extend it to others.
I think in light of this, I’m taking a step to simplify things. Go back to what made me happy about my spiritual work, and remove extra barriers to entry. I never wanted my spiritual work or my readings to feel like a job. Yes, I am in service to others, but as I serve others we serve each other. In the spirit of kapwa, we see ourselves in the other. We all go through this life as one, together.
It was my goal to provide low to no-cost therapy to those in need as a future therapist and I would like to do the same for my spiritual work as I am now financially able to do so now. After reconnecting with my homeland’s soil, this is what currently feels right in my spirit. This is what my spiritual reset looks like in service to you.
Let’s talk here
Thee Filipina Bruha 